Incidentally, the Dragon humor came from someone’s signature in that thread, I don’t know whom to credit, so I’ll just say it came from this [url=http://forums.gleemax.com/member.php?u=377918]participant’s profile[/url]:
[b]Why Dragons Should Never Lose[/b]
-You think you have the element of surprise,
By the time you reach my lair, I’ll have figured out what you’re capable of by watching your progress through my traps and guards. If a snot-nosed wizard with a meager 15 Int is smart enough to cast alarm before he goes to bed, what makes your think my lair won’t be coated with it?
-Your casting spells and wielding weapons with my elemental weakness?
Okay, I cast protection from elements, or If my DM owns the draconomicon, take a few feats and eliminate it.
-Oh, you’ve got a a beefy min/maxed fighter of one hit killage.
I can fly
-Oh You’ve got ranged weapons
Protection from arrows
-Oh, You’ve got the flight spell on fighter now
Bull rush him into the ground, preferably the same tile as one of your allies
-Oh, You’re rogue can dodge my fire breath 95% of the time
-Oh, Your wise enough to protect your arcane spellcaster
-Oh, Your fighter has a high AC and lots of health
-Oh, Your cleric is healing everyone
Grapple, fly 300-400 ft. in the air, release (and hope the arcane caster is dumb enough to waste his featherfall on the fool).
-Oh, I’m down to about a 3rd of my health
I’ll just fly off to one of my emergency back up lairs where I keep multiple healing potions in edible bottles which I obviously had the foresight to prepare ahead of time given my 20+ INT. Once I’m healed, your dead.
-Oh, I’m down to a 3rd of my health, and you’ve undermined my resources.
I’ll retreat. Even your hasted monk has a dice’s chance in mechanius of keeping up with an airborne dragon taking double move. And once I’m healed up…
You’ll NEVER be able to sleep safely again…